It has been a while

This is an important post for me.

I rarely post a picture of myself, in fact its been over two years since I published a blog.

I am sat waiting for Conor to finish a self defence class. While I wait I have found some quiet time to reflect on this week

So why is this post so important?

There have been highs and lows.

We have finally found a school willing to accept BOTH Saoirse & Ailbe..Yay! After having read 6 reports from other schools on why they didn’t want my children.

To find a school not phased by our children’s needs and to see beyond the diagnosis is superb. Yes they will have to put in additional support and yes there will be bumps along the way. However, they are willing to try.

That story is for another day!

Why I am sat looking moody huddled over a cup of tea, hoping nobody will talk to me?

Conor, my eldest son was bullied in school this week. Not uncommon in secondary schools, I hear you say? What made this different ?

He was at his most vulnerable; alone, scared, & getting dressed in the changing rooms. Oh and did I mention there was a group of them? What tough lads they were!

• Good news: he stood up for himself
• Bad news: they did hit him around the head

Now some have told me that this will be a good learning skill for him 🤬 err no I don’t think so.

We are still trying to unpick the trauma from a year ago where we were assaulted by a parent on school grounds.

Why would a parent do that?

because we had a blue badge and can park on school grounds. yes, that is outrageous but sadly there are still people in this world that carry hatred towards others

Moving on..

Thanks to that incident our son has been left with anxiety over any form of conflict.

We can’t fight his battles…no matter how much I want to. We did the next best thing. We found self defence lessons instead.

So as I sit here and emotionally unpack from the week. You may see me sitting here with a miserable scowl. But behind this face are whirring cog wheels spinning on how to keep my children safe, how to make sure that they don’t spend their adult years with trauma from their childhood.

Conor has enough to deal with. I feel confident in saying he knows all to well the harsh reality of life.

He is a young carer

Conor had to leave his school & friends because of this assault. His whole world has been thrown upside down. I don’t know many adults that would get up each day having NO control over their environment or life. Yet still smile, be kind and go to an environment where they have no friends and the target of bullies

He has to deal with his younger sister who has major melt downs in the house due to her Autism, where he can’t do what he wants. He is always thinking about the consequences of his actions towards his sister and brother.

All I want as a mother is for my children to be safe, loved, and happy.

Friends say ;

We have so much going on in our family life. I don’t know how you carry on each day. I’m not surprised you are tired.

Yes I can’t argue with those comments. Some times it does feel like we are paddling like mad just to stay afloat.

Yes, we are exhausted, sometimes before breakfast we are ready for the day to be over. This doesn’t mean we give up because its difficult. Ok, we might stress eat, stay up late and binge watch box sets. There is also laughter and happiness in our lives too. It’s not all glum and stress. Unless we are all in the car…!

What it does look and feel like from my perspective;

---

Huddled over a coffee, looking moody & avoiding people!